Twilight, By: Stephenie Meyer

Done by: Maddie, and Amelia

Hiya People!

It's Amelia here! I'm the co-writer of Bookaholics Ink. I know I haven't posted in a long while, but here's my post on Twilight now! (I'm just adding to Maddie's, and making it more entertaining.)

Me and Maddie have very different opinions on the Twilight Saga, (mainly Twilight.) She's a lover (sort of?) and I'm a hater. Before you start throwing your rotten tomatoes at me, hear me out. I don't like Twilight and I like to make fun of it, but if you do like Twilight I respect your preferences.

So what me and Maddie are doing here is a Twilight argument. We did this on a website called KidBlog, too.

To start here's what I see as the cover of Twilight and here's what Maddie sees...

 

What I see!    When We look at the Twilight Book..  What Maddie sees!

I know, disgusting right? This is why I do not like Twilight. Do you see things from my POV yet? (*shudders*) You will never like Twilight again after you finish reading this. Actually there is no guarantee, but I do hope you dump that crappy book!

So before we start, I just have to say the book is terrible, and there will be spoilers. I guess it could be terrible for me because I'm not exactly a romantic, or a late teenager. I'd probably rate the book less than 1 star, but I'm sure Maddie's opinion would be different. If I'm not stupid, she gave it 6 stars.

Ok, now for the review argument....

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BACK COVER

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part may be-that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

(Info before you read the review.)

-Maddie is a Twihard (ish)

-Amelia is a Hater

-Maddie's reviewing

-Amelia's adding her opinions

-Amelia refers to Stephenie Meyer, as Meyer

-We both read this book, even though Amelia's a hater

-We both hope you enjoy our argument!

REVIEW (In the form of an argument.)

Maddie: I know a lot of people who could kill me for saying this, but I liked this book.

Amelia: I'll get my chainsaw.

Maddie: The beginning was a bit slow and I was frustrated with Bella. "Girl, you need a life".

Amelia: I know what you're saying, but aren't we two nerds  on computers, blogging about books?

Maddie: Fair enough, but back to my point. I didn't really understand why Bella was so obsessed with Edward, and I found myself embarrassed along with her.

Amelia: Finally, a point I actually agree on with a twihard!

Maddie: My favorite part was when Edward invites Bella to sit with him. I won't say anymore, because with my big mouth I'll  just give away the whole book.

Amelia: Remember the time I was reading, the Power Of Six ( by: Pittacus Lore)? I let you borrow it, you read just the ending, and spoiled it for me!

Maddie: The book definitely gets better as it gets past the awkwardness, and I think that being a vampire would be pretty cool, apart from the whole sparkling thing.

Amelia: You have to admit, the sparkling thing is actually kinda creepy. I think vampire and werewolf stories are getting repeated. What about the narwhals? Also, in the middle of the book, something happens that is totally not awkward at all........

Maddie: I liked Bella best in this book. In the others I found her too dependent on Edward, she focused her whole life on him, really, he's not that special. (I'm ignoring that last comment)

Amelia: Another good point! You have to admit, Edward is very possessive and slightly abusive. Why does no one remember that he really old? (like 5 times Bella's age.) Isn't it creepy and gross to be dating someone that old? Bella's not special either. She says she's ugly, but all the boys follow her around! Another person that angers me is Lauren. Why must all girls that play a part in the problem be blonde and mean? I've never read a story where there's a girl that is blonde and kind. Meyer, will you please explain your story?

Maddie: I felt bad for Charlie, Bella's dad, because he was so, guy-ish. He really cared about Bella, but he didn't really know how to show it, and Bella wasn't any help. 

Amelia: It's unrealistic how much Bella's dad doesn't care. You say he cared, but what kind of parent doesn't know that their daughter is dating a boy right when it happens? Bella didn't care either. She was always threatening him about leaving the house. If I were Charlie, I would say good riddance, and Yay! As far as I know, Bella always took her dad for granted, and he didn't know how to change that.

Maddie: Another thing I didn't get, why did everyone liked Bella? She wasn't really, well, social. Wow, this doesn't really sound like a book I liked, does it? It was good though, and I liked hearing about the powers and fights.

 Amelia: It's so weird how you sound like you don't like it, but you do. I'm not scared to express my feelings, I dislike twilight with a passion (hate). Back to your first point. Bella was a bit cold to everyone who talked to her. She seemed like a depressed, emo girl. Maybe that's why 'Emo'ward (Edward) likes her. I don't believe in love in first sight, because you don't know the person. You're judging them by their looks, not personality. The fights weren't that good either. I actually wished that James had killed Bella (oops, spoiler!) and they brought her back with something magical . At lest the plot would've been more interesting. I have a lot of ideas about making Twilight better, but I'm not Meyer so there's nothing I can do. Maddie, give me another point for me to argue on......

Maddie: Okay, something I liked about the book. Emmett. I thought Emmett was just ha-lair-i-ous.  Also, I liked Rosalie. She's all scary- revengey. (And yes, I know that is not a word. It's still fun to write). But... I. Hate. Alice. 

Amelia: I can honestly say that they are good characters, but I think Rosalie is too self absorbed.  I hate Meyer for creating good characters, and then ignoring them and giving them such little parts. I think Emmett is funny, but he never got to make many jokes in the books, because Meyer didn't give him many speaking lines. Even Rosalie barely spoke at all! I think Rosalie's a jerk, and the reason she hates Bella is ridiculous. Alice is just like Edward, manipulative and abusive.

Maddie: Plus, have you seen the movies? 

Amelia : Yeah, worst experience of my life........

Maddie: Try watching them with no sound and subtitles. 

Amelia: I have a better idea. Read the book out loud and at the end of every speaking line, say idiot. ( Ex. Bella: I know what you are, idiot.)

Maddie: Our ideas will crack you up. But, anything is awesome compared to those. Still, my favorite part was (spoiler alert) when Bella, Alice and Jasper were on the run and everyone was trying to bash Bella.

Amelia: Too bad it had to end happily. :(

Maddie: That scene with Bella and the tracker dude whose name I don't remember was the best part of the book. But the baseball scene was pretty good also.

Amelia: The tracker dude was creepy, but nothing can compare to Voldemort! He looked like a mass murderer. The baseball scene was kind of weird. Honestly, I find vampire baseball really weird because imagine how Bella feels. Her tiny brain, can't process whats going on, so she's bugging everyone to tell her who's winning. Hey Maddie?

Maddie: Yep?

Amelia: I figured out what the tracker dude's name was. His name was-

Maddie: Oh yeah! His name was James, the creepy stalker dude who everyone hates.

 Amelia: Thank you for interrupting me. I was going to tell our readers what his name was! Now I'll have to move on to something else. Maddie, wanna join me in a painting class? The red paint is made from human blood, and the yellow is from animal blood (twilight related joke)........

Maddie: Ha Ha Ha

Amelia: Hey Maddie, I'm tired.

Maddie: I think we're going to end it there! Be sure to check out these books, and ignore Amelia's words of protest.

Amelia: No, don't waste your money!!! I'm just kidding. Check these books out, if you like vampire romance books. Even though I don't.......

Maddie: We've finally won Amelia to the vampire side. We'll I'm going to say bye, before Amelia can say any more things.

Maddie & Amelia : Thanks for reading, and be sure to leave a comment.

 

Maddie: Twilight is awesome!

Amelia: We never agreed to say that at the end! Anyways, bye!

Amelia: (*whisper*) \Jingle bells, Twilight Smells, Edward ran away, Jacob cries, Bella dies, Harry Potter all the way!

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 Well, I don't really know what to say about that. I was feeling rather angry there. I know Maddie is more of a lover so she said things that weren't really that mean.

Most people don't know, but a hobby of mine is searching for anti-twilight things that are entertaining. Usually they're not appropriate, but I'm almost a teen so I say 'screw it!'

I read anything from twilight blogs, to Fanfictions (FF's). I'm going to post a few things that I like to watch and read, with a bit of awesome info about it.

First up. Alex Day!

Alex is a semi-famous British person ;). He even has his own Wikipedia page. I'm not going to put his life story here because that's what Wikipedia is for. I'm just going to put a few things here. He's part of a band called 'Chameleon Circuit.' Basically they make my new fave kind of music, Trock. You probably don't know what that is so I'm going to explain. There's a British sci-fi show called 'Doctor Who,' and Trock is music based on episodes of that show. There's also something called Wrock (Wizard Rock), it's basically Harry Potter themed music. I'm sorry, back to Alex Day...

He also has a youtube account called 'nerimon,' which is a digimon he made up when he was a kid. What he did was read each chapter of Twilight and made videos about his thoughts. His videos are 'Alex Reads Twilight Chapter __.' He did the entire first Twilight book, but not more after that. Actually, it took him about a year to finish the book and post all the chapters.He also gets a bit off topic in the beginning and end of his videos, but it's still very good!

The videos he make aren't exactly appropriate because he swears (but not every 5 seconds.) The first video is right below..

Next up, Charlie McDonnell!

Charlie is actually friends with Alex. He did a dare where he had to switch video blogs with Alex Day. So he did a chapter of Twilight too! He did Chapter 16 so if you haven't read the book, you might not understand this video. Charlie is also in the band 'Chameleon Circuit,' with Alex Day (and he's British!) I don't remember if Charlie swears though :(

I think that's about it for reading twilight videos. I would actually post the Vampires Suck trailer, but you can see that on your own, and it's nothing undiscovered. I'm going to jump from videos to reading!

Next up, FanFictions!

I have to confess. I love reading Twilight FanFictions. If the Fanfictions are good, I'm happy. If they're not, it's new material for me to make fun of. Not all fanfics are appropriate (in terms of swearing, content, and scariness.) As you people know, I don't like Twilight because Bella has no backbone. There are Twilight fans and haters who writes Stories where Bella becomes evil/an assassin and she hates the Cullens. I also like ones where Bella is reckless, evil and uncaring/badass. I don't remember which ones are classified YA, so you have to experiment. I'll also post the synopsis for each one.

I'll also post my account which has the stories I like. You'll see stories that have swearing ans s*x scenes. I'm not a pervert. Usually I read a story and if I like it, I add it to my favorites list before checking for those kinds of things. I also just ignore them and keep reading after they're gone. Please don't call me a pervert because of it, because I'm not! (Click the titles to get to the story. In green!)

Shadows of Revenge

So this story is basically one where Bella is a human with superhuman abilities. She is taken from by the government at a young age and trained to be an assassin. Eventually, she escapes and moves to Forks to live with her father. She meets Edward and his family but she wants nothing to do with him because of her past. I don't want to give away too much, so I won't say more.

Topazes and Rubies

Before I start, I just have to say that this is by far my favorite FanFiction where Bella grows a backbone. So basically the beginning is set during New Moon. Bella gets turned (duh?) and becomes a human drinker. She becomes evil, feral and slightly psychotic. She also has her own army of vampires that have special gifts. They're not immortal children because they're slightly older, and Aro (leader of all vamps) can't kill them if he tried. So Bella learns that the Cullens have come back into her life and she plots to destroy them. I really recommend this story whether you're a twihard or a hater. I would know, Maddie likes this story and she's a Twihard(ish.)

Suicide Girl

Despite the name, this story actually has nothing to do with suicide. This is another 'Bella Grows a Backbone story.' So Bella becomes a vamp and changes her name to Bella Suicide. She becomes a famous singer because all vamps are perfect (ugh!) I know there's more I''m missing, but I don't remember...

Elemental

This is like a fantasy story. It's not like the other ones, meaning Bella's not evil. Basically, Bella moves to Forks and the truth is revealed she's not exactly normal. She has abilities over the elements. There are so many things that happen, but I can't exactly say it all. All I can say is that it's my favorite story that's a fantasy.

Well, this was a few FanFictions that i like, but if you're curious for more, check out my account and look under favorite stories.

My Account Profile (booknerd2000) (You know you wanna look!) ;)

There's still more though....

After that, Dan Bergstein!

Dan Bergstein Blogging Twilight

Dan Bergstein is a guy that blogs every chapter of Twilight, similar to Alex Day but different. He writes instead of making video blogs and he just does random things. It's a very funny blog. He's very weird, ex. He wishes that the Wolves had jet packs (New Moon) and he calls Eric, E-Rock. He does all 4 books so if you're ever bored there's something to read. It's also entertaining because the top picture is drawn by himself.

Almost Finished, Friggin' Twilight!

Friggin Twilight is a parody of all 4 books combined into 1 trailer. It is also Jersey Shore styled, so if you hate both Twilight and jersey Shore you might find it entertaining. I just have to point out that there is a few choice words, but you can just beep it out (same as Alex Day.)

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So that's about it for the links. I have so many more, but I don't want to post them. You people have no idea how much work it takes to write this. don't fear though! If you enjoyed the links there's a blog that is specially made for these kinds of things. Some of the things aren't appropriate, but just skip those ones if you don't like it.

The Anti-Twilight Blog!! (Multiple Contributers)

So that's about it. Please comment on this, follow our blog and help us advertise. It would really mean a lot to Maddie and Myself. It would also make posts come faster! So advertise on your Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and other social things that you can possibly have!

We have to say thanks again,

- Maddie and ♫ Amelia ♫